How To Negotiate For Getting What You Want - Millionaire Mind Events (2023)

Have you been wondering if getting what you want, whether in life or in business, is even possible?

What if I told you that by creating affinity, using statements of affirmation, and respecting yourself, not only is getting what you want possible, but it could be much easier than you think?

Multi-millionaire Trainer and Author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker, had to come up with some seriously strategic negotiation skills when he was broke.

He learned the secrets to getting what he wants and became a millionaire in 2.5 years, using the very tools, strategies, and principles he teaches his students.

Today, it’s your turn to benefit because getting what you want is a question of skill, flexibility, and mutual satisfaction.

Getting What You Want in Life with Successful Negotiation

If you get nervous when it’s time to negotiate terms, consider these 3 tips if you’re looking at getting what you want, which in every case should ideally be mutually beneficial.

Tip #01. You don’t get what you ‘deserve’, you get what you ‘negotiate’

You might not realize that you negotiate pretty much all day every day by reaching agreements with loved ones, friends, and colleagues…

“Where would you like to eat?”

“What movie would you like to watch?”

“I think I deserve an increase of…”

So you might settle for Italian instead of the Chinese food you actually crave, and it’s not that big of a deal now, is it?

In business, however, the stakes are higher when you negotiate.

Whether you’re selling or buying, you desire the most favorable terms on pricing.

Many people become disheartened thinking that they’re ill-equipped to negotiate effectively or that they’ll end up feeling guilty because if they win, the other person loses.

Firstly, understand that both parties can win.

So endeavor to avoid a win/lose or a lose/lose situation at all times.

Secondly, even if you intend the most mutually beneficial outcome, the choice your fellow negotiator makes is beyond your control, but you can help yourself out by doing the following: ask for a better deal.

People generally fear hearing “NO” so much that they won’t even try asking.

You’ve got nothing to lose by simply asking!

If you can see you’re not getting what you want in a negotiation then SAY something.

In business you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate.

Tip #02. Don’t ever be the first to come out with a number

Hold back on being the first to give a number during negotiations.


Because you’ll give them the flexibility to produce countering statements.

You’re empowering them to come up with reasons why NOT to go with what you’re suggesting and desire instead of affirming statements such as… “That’s not in the budget”.

Put yourself in the position where they are ‘forced’ to admit… “Yes, that does make sense.”

There is one thing you do want to hold back on: never come out with a number first.

Tip #03. Tell only the truth

The best tool for negotiations is telling the truth.

Know what it is you want before entering the conversation.

Also, know what the absolute most / least is that makes reasonable sense to your bottom line.

Then clearly communicate such to them.

The whole idea behind negotiating is for both parties to work together towards the mutually beneficial goal of you both getting what you want.

Both of you have to feel good and that the deal’s fair once you’ve agreed.

Not all negotiations will be win-win scenarios but it’s far more favorable to always aim for that - or rather choose not to enter into a deal that will result in resentment for either party.

Ask for what you’re after.

Be fair and truthful.

Don’t attach to hard feelings if your negotiations didn’t work as you’d intended and you may find that the skill of negotiating is much more fun, and far easier than you thought originally.

The best negotiating tool is, to tell the truth.

Getting What You Want with Honesty

So let’s elaborate on being honest while you’re waiting for your counterpart to state their offer first.

It does sound a little counter-intuitive not being the first to put your cards on the table, doesn’t it?

Some people enter negotiations with the belief that they’ll only be successful if they’re dishonest and ruthless.

Many people think it makes more sense to state upfront what it is that they want instead of allowing their opportunity to unfold.

And on the other side of the spectrum, other people have the fear of death to say what it is they really want.

Because when they trusted someone with their honesty, they were taken advantage of and this has caused much cynicism and distrust not only with others but within the self too.

Are you someone who didn’t get what you wanted and was left in a frustrating situation?

In life, in love, and in business, certain rules govern how others respond to us.

3 Rules for Getting What You Want in Life:

By using these rules you attract what you desire as well as build upon the sort of relationships and connections you really want.

Rule #01. Create Affinity…

Affinity generates 2 essentials for trust which are closeness and likability.

If you’re likable, people are more prone to give you leeway and this creates room for the possibility of getting what you want from them.

You can create affinity by focusing on your common denominators.

Whether directly or indirectly, when you say “I am like you”, you’re also saying “I like you”.

Rule #02. Use Affirming Statements:

Use statements such as “I see your point”, ”I agree with that” or “I understand” during negotiations.

This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to agree with every single statement the person made.

If you don’t agree though, using the word “but” negates everything he or she just said, even if the point you’re making is 100% accurate, true, and valid.

Instead, saying “I see your point of view, and I was thinking…” signals to the other person that they’re being heard and being understood.

This presents your opportunity to have your say without creating a situation where someone may feel devalued.

This makes sense, yes?

You’d be surprised how easy it can be to “but” someone to death, and then there’s no way of getting what you want!

Rule #03. Respect Yourself:

If you show a need for someone’s approval, or if you want something too badly, you relinquish your strength and lose all your negotiating power.

This is why it’s vital to know exactly what you want and have NO FEAR about expressing it at the most appropriate moment.

The less fear you enter the negotiation with, the less anxiety will be evident, the more confident you’ll become, and the person you’re negotiating with is practically ‘forced’ to regard your interests based on the respect you treat yourself with.

You’ve Got the Power

Not only are you creating more affinity when you provide them the freedom to be the first to express themselves, but you’re also strategically asserting yourself in a position of power.

Be ready to respond to their counters until you’ve both reached an amicable, mutually beneficial solution.

This is why it’s true that when you don’t respect yourself, you don’t fully respect others either.

Your best approach is to connect your own truth with their truth, as much courageously as thoughtfully.

Being honest with yourself as well as with others gives you a much greater opportunity for getting what you want.

Conclusion: Getting What You Want is About Knowing…

By using these basic tips and rules, there’s no reason to feel guilty about getting what you want in the situations you create.

It’s important to be aware of the underlying pulse that makes people and relationships tick.

This awareness provides good people with much greater exposure to love, success, and wealth.

If you’d like to learn from T. Harv Eker what the 6 specific principles between getting rich and staying middle class or broke are, then click here to register as his special guest for the FREE “Zero to Multimillionaire” web class right now.

Practice makes Permanent.

And if getting what you want is on your business agenda then you'll love the full 14-lesson module on negotiations that you will only find when you click here to get access to the "Million Dollar Business Secrets Program"!

How To Negotiate For Getting What You Want - Millionaire Mind Events (1)

Frequently Asked Questions About Getting What You Want

Has your Mind ever wondered…

How do you actually get what you want?

You don’t get what you want… you get what you negotiate.

Don’t be the first to come up with a number and always tell the truth.

Whether you know it or not, you negotiate every day in life, and there’s no reason why negotiating in business should mean you care less about your counterpart.

T. Harv Eker provides 3 great tips and 3 simple rules for getting what you want in negotiations.

To be successful in negotiations, you must create affinity, use affirming statements and respect yourself.

How can I be successful in business?

To be successful in business, negotiation is a skill you simply have to master.

If you’d like to learn from T. Harv Eker what the 6 specific principles between getting rich and staying middle class or broke are, then click here to register as his special guest for the FREE “Zero to Multimillionaire” web class right now.

Why are ‘wants’ important in a business?

A ‘want’ is a motivating factor, the terms of trade, and when it comes to negotiations, you should endeavor to create win-win scenarios where both parties enjoy mutual benefit.

By using T. Harv Eker’s 3 Tips for successful negotiations, and entering negotiations with the 3 Rules in this post, you’ll empower yourself to create exactly that.

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, negotiations are the key to getting what you want!


How do you ask for what you want in a negotiation? ›

Here's how to approach your next negotiation to ensure you get what you want.
  1. Be honest with yourself about what you want. “More” is not a goal. ...
  2. Be honest with yourself about what you're willing to offer. ...
  3. Be honest with the other party about what you want and what you have to offer. ...
  4. Be willing to walk away.

How do you bargain professionally? ›

What to do when negotiating
  1. Be the first to make an offer. Part of being a good negotiator is taking control of the deal. ...
  2. Provide set terms instead of price ranges. ...
  3. Use words wisely while negotiating. ...
  4. Ask open-ended questions and be a good listener. ...
  5. Offer a win-win scenario.

What's the most important thing to remember about negotiating? ›

You should consider the best possible outcome, your least acceptable offer and what you will do if an agreement isn't reached. Preparing, planning and thinking ahead is crucial to a successful negotiation. The best negotiators enter a discussion with at least one backup plan, but often more.

How do you start a negotiation conversation? ›

Opening statements – give everyone a chance to make a brief statement about how they see the issues and what they are hoping to achieve. Encourage people not to get into a debate at this point. Just listen to each other. Develop an agenda – you may have done this before the meeting, if you haven't, do it now.

What are the three key rules to negotiate? ›

The three most basic rules for negotiations are: 1) Prepare, 2) Listen 3) Be Present.

What is the magic question in negotiation? ›

The magic question

And doing that, he insists, is as simple as asking one magic question: "How am I supposed to do that?" These seven little words can accomplish an amazing amount, according to Voss. First off, the question obliges the other side to empathize with your position, whether they're inclined to or not.

What are the 5 negotiation techniques? ›

In fact, there are five different negotiation styles: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding and accommodating.

What are the five negotiation tactics? ›

From these patterns of communication, five distinct negotiation styles have emerged: competing, collaborating, compromising, accommodating, and avoiding. Negotiators often fall into one or more of these five styles whether they are trying to reach an agreement or resolve a conflict with multiple parties.

What are the three 3 most important negotiating skills and why? ›

In order to negotiate an effective agreement, it's important to understand the elements of a negotiation. The what (issues), why (positions), and how (interests), are three elements present in every negotiation. Together, they provide a basic outline from which your strategy will evolve.

What are the 4 most important elements of negotiation? ›

There are four key elements that describe a personal negotiation approach: Creating value, claiming value, empathizing with others, and asserting yourself.

What are the 4 key concepts of negotiation? ›

Any successful negotiation must have a fundamental framework based on four key concepts: BATNA (best alternative to negotiated agreement), reservation price, ZOPA (zone of possible agreement), and value creation through trade.

What do you say when trying to negotiate? ›

What to say when negotiating
  • Example: “I love what I'm doing, I'm devoted to company success, and I believe the company has really grown/benefited/changed because of the way I've contributed to X and Y. ...
  • Example: “I'm considering a new position. ...
  • Example: “Hi Mark, my friend Beverly said you might be able to help me out.
Sep 13, 2021

What is an example of a negotiation opening statement? ›

Components of the opening statement

For instance, Good afternoon, I am Mr. X, and I am the CEO of ABC company. The participants may then thank the other negotiating team for requesting or responding to the request of negotiation as opposed to choosing litigation to resolve the dispute.

What is the gratitude sandwich method? ›

With the sandwich method, one puts positive comments at the beginning and end of the discussion, and the meat of the matter is in the middle. That "meat" is the constructive comment that isn't quite so positive. A gratitude sandwich is different than the sandwich method because there is no criticism.

What is the 3 second rule to negotiate? ›

According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, sitting silently for at least three seconds during a difficult moment in a negotiation, confrontation, or even conversation makes both people more deliberative -- and leads to better outcomes.

What is the number 1 rule of negotiation? ›

- When you negotiate, you should never go beyond your limit. Now, your limit is the most you'll pay if you're buying, and it's the lowest price you'll go to if you're selling. And you need to set that limit before you start and never, never go beyond it.

What is the golden rule of negotiation? ›

Golden Rule One: Information Is Power – So Get It

The first Golden Rule is essential to success in any negotiation: Information Is Power—So Get It! It's critical to ask questions and get as much relevant information as you can throughout the negotiation process.

What's the most important question to ask when negotiating? ›

1. Would you explain the reasons for your position? If you can't clearly understand the other party's reasoning through simple discussions, the best way to discern the other parties position and motivations on deal points is to directly ask them their rationale for what they are offering or seeking.

What are the 3 magic questions? ›

If you see someone in confusion or conflict and they are not asking for help – ask yourself the three magic questions: Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it mean to be said by me right now? You'll be surprised at how often the answer to all three questions is no.

What is the salami technique in negotiation? ›

It's called the salami because people eat salami in thin slices, and the person using the tactic takes thin slices off the other person, just asking for small concessions, one after another, and gradually, bit by bit, most of the value is taken off the other person before they realize.

What is the quivering pen technique in negotiation? ›

Well, the quivering pen is similar in that, again, you ask for something extra just at the end, but the big difference is that you ask for the extra before you sign the deal, before you shake hands. In fact, just before.

How do you win a negotiation with a narcissist? ›

Appeal to their ego: Narcissists are often motivated by their own self-image and need for admiration, so try to position your offer as something that will enhance their image or status. Remember that you won't reach an agreement with a narcissist unless they think the deal is worthy of them bragging about.

What is the most effective type of negotiation? ›

Most research suggests that negotiators with a primarily cooperative style are more successful than hard bargainers at reaching novel solutions that improve everyone's outcomes. Negotiators who lean toward cooperation also tend to be more satisfied with the process and their results, according to Weingart.

What are 2 important skills required to achieve successful negotiations? ›

An effective negotiator will be using some of the below skills during the process of negotiation.
  • Active listening.
  • Asking good questions.
  • Communication skills (Specially verbal communication)
  • Decision making ability.
  • Emotional control.
  • Interpersonal skills.

What are the 4 factors of negotiation effectiveness? ›

Four factors influence how effectively individuals negotiate: personality, mood/emotions, culture, and gender.

What is the most common negotiation? ›

Some of the most common are distributive negotiation, integrative negotiation, team negotiation, and multiparty negotiation. In distributive negotiation, parties compete over the distribution of a fixed pool of value.

What not to say in negotiations? ›

Phrases You Should Never Say in a Negotiation
  • 'This call should be pretty quick. '
  • 'Between'
  • 'What about a lower price?'
  • 'I have the final say. '
  • 'Let's work out the details later. '
  • 'I really need to get this done. '
  • 'Let's split the difference. '

What are the 4 levers of negotiation? ›

There are four levers to every sale: timing, contract length, deal size, and payment terms.

How do you negotiate tough? ›

Below are seven tips for navigating the twists and turns of a tough negotiation.
  1. Know exactly what you want. ...
  2. Do your homework. ...
  3. Place yourself in their shoes. ...
  4. Aim for a win-win situation. ...
  5. Be direct. ...
  6. Don't lose your cool. ...
  7. Know when it's time to walk away.

How do you negotiate a difficult situation? ›

5 Negotiation Skills Needed for Difficult Situations
  1. 1.) Emotional Control. Difficult individuals often thrive on their negative emotional impulses in the workplace and in debates. ...
  2. 2.) Eye Contact and Body Language. ...
  3. 3.) Empathy. ...
  4. 4.) Commitment to a Decision. ...
  5. 5.) Communication of Personal Ethics.

What do you say at the end of a negotiation? ›

Bring up some minor detail that needs to be agreed upon, like a delivery time, and say: “Let's just settle this final issue.” This communicates to the other side that as far as you're concerned, this is the last piece of business to take care of.

What is an example of simple negotiation? ›

Buying or selling a car is another example of a negotiation. If you're buying, you want to pay the lowest possible price (or perhaps get the seller to include an extended warranty or some other concession or perk). If you're the one selling, you want to get the highest dollar amount possible.

What are the simple steps of negotiation? ›

There are five steps to the negotiation process, which are:
  1. Preparation and planning.
  2. Definition of ground rules.
  3. Clarification and justification.
  4. Bargaining and problem solving.
  5. Closure and implementation.
Mar 29, 2022

What is a positive sandwich example? ›

Example of a Praise Sandwich

Here is an example of how a typical praise sandwich works: Positive – “I'm really happy with the way that you speak with customers. Your tone is always friendly and I think your customers enjoy speaking with you”. Negative – “I do have some concerns with your emails to customers though.

What is the sandwich method and its 3 steps? ›

The Feedback Sandwich method is when you open your feedback with positive comments, followed by the main message, and then some final positive comments. It's a longstanding way of communicating constructive criticism. But some critics think it mutes the message or overprotects the recipient.

What is an example of a compliment sandwich? ›

Here is a compliment sandwich of what a manager may say to one of their direct reports who was presenting some in-depth, but a little boring, slides. “Great job presenting today! I thought the content you went over was in-depth and you had great examples to back up your points.

How do you ask for what you want examples? ›

7 Keys To Asking For What You Really Want (So You Get It!)
  • Don't assume others are mind readers. ...
  • Be bold in what you ask for (don't dilute!) ...
  • Be specific about what you want and when you want it. ...
  • Be clear about what you won't tolerate. ...
  • Forget hints - be direct. ...
  • Ditch the martyr act. ...
  • Don't make 'no' mean more than it does.
Apr 24, 2013

What kind of question should you ask during a negotiation? ›

What are your suggestions for a compromise? By asking this, you can brainstorm ideas for compromise and determine which idea is best. Asking them for their compromise also allows them to have some level of control over the negotiations.

How do you negotiate expectations? ›

By reacting with a surprised look, a laugh, or a flinch, you can lower your counterpart's expectations about the feasible bargaining zone, or zone of possible agreement (ZOPA). Conversely, by appearing very cooperative or particularly eager for an agreement, you may raise your counterpart's expectations.

What do you say when you want to negotiate? ›

What to say when negotiating
  • Example: “I love what I'm doing, I'm devoted to company success, and I believe the company has really grown/benefited/changed because of the way I've contributed to X and Y. ...
  • Example: “I'm considering a new position. ...
  • Example: “Hi Mark, my friend Beverly said you might be able to help me out.
Sep 13, 2021

How do you ask for what you want professionally? ›

Here are some steps to assertively asking for what you want in the workplace:
  1. Get clear about what you want. ...
  2. Outline the benefits for your audience. ...
  3. Customise your approach to your manager. ...
  4. Be present during the conversation. ...
  5. Follow up after allowing time to process.
Sep 9, 2021

How do you request without sounding demanding? ›

Phrase your requests as hypotheticals. That way, the recipient doesn't feel obligated to do anything if they don't want to. Most of the time, they'll be eager to help you, and since it was phrased so politely, they'll even try to go the extra mile for you.

How do you ask for something without sounding demanding? ›

To recap: ask for a time, appreciate, state the importance, tell the need in the most specific way possible, explain the outcome, ask what they need from you, and express gratitude for meeting the need. It's quite simple!

What are the 4 C's of negotiation? ›

Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations identifies the four Cs of negotiation: common interest, conflicting interest, compromise, and conditions. These are common to all business deals regardless of cultural nuances.

What are the 4 golden rules of negotiation? ›

These golden rules: Never Sell; Build Trust; Come from a Position of Strength; and Know When to Walk Away should allow you as a seller to avoid negotiating as much as possible and win.

What are the big 5 in negotiation? ›

The “Big 5”

When studying personality in negotiation, psychologists generally focus on five main factors that are believed to encompass most human personality traits: extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness.

How do you negotiate confidently? ›

How to Be Nice & Negotiate With Confidence
  1. Establish a Rapport. Making small talk before negotiations begin builds a relationship with the person. ...
  2. Be Firm in Your Argument. You can be firm when arguing your side without coming across as rude. ...
  3. Show Emotion, But Not Too Much.

How do you politely ask for more money? ›

Salary Negotiation Tips 21-31 Making the Ask
  1. Put Your Number Out First. ...
  2. Ask for More Than What You Want. ...
  3. Don't Use a Range. ...
  4. Be Kind But Firm. ...
  5. Focus on Market Value. ...
  6. Prioritize Your Requests. ...
  7. But Don't Mention Personal Needs. ...
  8. Ask for Advice.

How do you negotiate and convince? ›

How to Persuade People to Negotiate
  1. Be clear why this is important to you. ...
  2. Demonstrate what they can gain from negotiating. ...
  3. Listen, even if the answer is no. ...
  4. Identify the right time to ask. ...
  5. Be flexible and give them power in the process.
Sep 21, 2017


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